i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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