he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Randomize