ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
