Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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