return my video game
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
