You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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