we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
PANTIES FOUND
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