Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
