who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
