apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
