I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
