I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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