I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
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