when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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