dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
