i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I am available for nakedness
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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