That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
