just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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