I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
