it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
is it fun? or sober?
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