I'm laying in your front yard are you home
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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