i just wanna soil my oats bro
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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