OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
They have beer where we have blood.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
