Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize