Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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