We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
