Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
