Rock
Scissors
Fuck
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
We had to coat check the pizza.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
