They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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