i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
