hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
