i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
