funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
