Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
