God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
