Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
