i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize