fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
