About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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