so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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