apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
