pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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