Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
