hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Every concussion has its silver lining
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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