I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
nutella sex= disaster
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
