my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
