I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
