She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
