Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
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