I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
We don't watch enough power rangers
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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