oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
