My brain says no but my pants say off.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
