i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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