I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
