it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She's the barista slut.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
i've created a new STD.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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