Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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