Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I see more hoeing in ur future
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