now i know why i became what i already was.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Just invented taco cereal.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
