The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
