bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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