That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
